As Soccer Heats Up, Americans opt to Watch Super Bowl Reruns

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Two guys sitting on a couch

CANTON – The most popular sport on the planet is kicking into high gear, and Americans are getting caught up in the competitive spirit by re-watching the Super Bowl. “I can sense the excitement from soccer highlights on the news,” said Denver Broncos fan Jason Derby, “which has got me craving some real action, and there’s nothing better than the biggest game of the year!”

Fox Sports will be rebroadcasting the game on Sunday, calling it ‘Super Bowl: Reloaded.’ Fans are planning Super Bowl parties again. “It was great the first time, so why not do it again?” said Chicago Bears fan Dan Hamstring. “Of course, we know who wins, but it’s still better than any soccer game I’ve seen.” Mr. Hamstring admits to never actually having seen a professional soccer match, but after his kid’s games, he said he’s seen enough.

Most Americans don’t realize their country even has a soccer team. But they do know that a Super Bowl rerun is going to be super awesome the second time around. Football fan Shelly Chearzalot is looking forward to the fun, commercials and halftime show. “Other people call soccer football,” Shelly said, “but that doesn’t make sense. We’ve got the real football right here, and I’m ready for Super Bowl Sunday all over again!”