Disney Janitors Union Demands Higher Wages, More Buckets

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Disney World – Tensions rose today as the Disney Janitors union met with company executives to deliver their list of demands regarding employment standards at “The Happiest Place on Earth.” In addition to higher wages, the union is seeking additional supplies necessary to doing their jobs and improve working conditions.

“Bit o’ concern it is!” said Bert Chimney, an ex-Disney employee who is now the head of the labor union. “‘Ere we see the park failing to supply their em-ploy-ees adequate resources. Gents ‘ere hafta make twice as many trips as they s’posed tuh. Our goal is to supply two buckets per lad by the end of the fiscal year.”

Senior Vice President of the park Bartolo Stromboli says that the majority of these problems are a result of overstaffing. “Hiring is simply out of control” Stromboli said. “We’ve been trying to track down who has made all these new hires, but it’s as if they’re multiplying at will!”

Resources aside, by far the most alarming news to come out of the meeting was the report of “Barbaric” working conditions. One worker claimed that their manager, Mick “Steamboat” Mouse, went as far as to chase employees around the facilities with an axe. This coincides with other reports that emerged last year that were seemingly swept under the rug.