Man Finally Says Screw It, Bookmarks Porn Site

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PADUCAH, KY – After 15 long hard years, local man Jack Hoffman has finally said enough-is-enough and has bookmarked his favorite porno site. He is being dubbed a hero among men today as a shining example of being true to one’s self, encouraging men everywhere to come out from the shadows of incognito mode and live the life they want to live.

“It just became such a hassle,” said Jack. “Constantly covering my tracks, deleting my history, trying to remember what I searched for. At one point you just have to accept who you are, despite what society may think of you.”

Yet his courageous act may come prematurely to a nation that has long considered pornography to be a touchy subject. While many men have praised Jack for his courage, others have voiced their disgust for his brazenness.

“It’s just not right,” said one local Paducah resident. “In my day we had a sense of decency. Sure you might take a gander at a pin-up calendar every once in a while, but you never hang it in your house.” Jack, however, is letting it all hang these days, saying he won’t be silenced or shamed.

While the history books may remember him a pioneer, Jack ultimately suffered the same fate all heroes do. Within less than a week, Jack was in the news again after mistakenly clicking his bookmarked link during his presentation at a coworker’s retirement party. In attendance was every member of the board, all the girls he went to high school with, his parents, and of course Nanna and Pop-Pop.

In the end, the whole debacle would only reinforce every man’s fear that the worst possible thing that can happen, is probably going to happen.