Melania’s New White House Kitchen Has Better Cabinet Picks Than Donald’s

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WASHINGTON – Strong, white and rigid, with a touch of European influence – no these aren’t Donald Trump’s cabinet picks, they’re Melania’s. Today the FLOTUS unveiled her newest White House redesign: a cabinet renovation in the White House kitchen. Her choices were met with strong favor in the media who declared her picks outshine the appointments her husband had made in his cabinet months earlier.

What about the department of the interior? Melania’s cabinets are lined in delicate 24 karat gold shelf paper, a less flashy and more substantive choice than Donald’s to be sure.

“I hope with these picks I can bring some stability to the White House,” said Melania as she showed off her new installment. Indeed, the cabinets are made from a hearty birch, built for stability and durability, with a smooth, tight grain.

Former President Barrack Obama was particularly supportive of Melania’s picks. “This selection shows courage, strength, and offers enough support to keep our resources level with China,” said Obama, referring to the White House fine bone China stored on a shelf adjacent to Melania’s cabinets.