Members of ABBA Check in as “Safe” After Immigration Attack in Sweden

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ABBA performing on stage

STOCKHOLM – All four members of the Swedish super-group ABBA have issued this message to the world: “Vi är Levande, vi är säker – We are alive, we are safe.” ABBA tweeted this reassurance from their castle a day after Sweden’s apparent immigrant terror attack.

The world breathed a tuneful sigh of relief, as Sweden tried to make sense of the mysterious act of aggression.
“Our country is in shock, and we are sending out an S.O.S. to ABBA,” said King Carl XVI Gustaf. “We do not know who instigated this horrible hostility, what it was, where it took place, or who was affected. All we know is that our most exalted gods and goddesses of pop have been left unharmed.”

Swedes immediately took to social media to express their sense of the relief. Some tweeted “Long live ABBA!” An online radio DJ exclaimed “ABBA cannot be destroyed by hate because ABBA is pure love.”

Deputy to the Prime Minister‎, ‎Isabella Lövin, called upon ABBA to act as peace ambassadors to unite all people in Sweden in harmony. “In Sweden we are all members of ABBA, and we must keep the dream alive.”

ABBA announced a rally and concert for peace to be held next weekend in Stockholm. “Our energy will overpower fear,” said ABBA. “This will be our Waterloo moment.”