HOLLYWOOD – Meryl Streep has made history today during the announcement of the nominations for the 89th Academy Awards. She became the first actress, male or female, to earn twenty Oscar nominations after being recognized for her lifetime achievement award acceptance speech at the 74th annual Golden Globes.
Meryl’s speech, a stirring takedown of Donald Trump, prejudice, and mixed martial arts, was met with widespread jubilance from liberals, and a collective, “give me a break” from conservatives. However, since the Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences is composed almost exclusively of left-leaning industry leaders looking to feel good about themselves, Meryl’s twentieth nomination was all but assured by the time President-Elect Trump tweeted back an angry response at 5 in the morning.
President of the AMPAS Cheryl Boone Isaacs told reporters, “Every year, stars, artisans, and seedy Hollywood socialites come together to pat each other on the back for performances that pander to self-righteous in-group liberal elites – and no one does that better than Meryl Streep. Time and time again she treats us to her exquisite talent for sappy melodramatic monologues meant to stir the heart of some and the gag reflex of others. Her superb speech at the Golden Globes might just top them all.” Mrs. Isaacs concluded by noting, “We have our new queen. And Yass Queen! Long may she reign.”