WASHINGTON DC – As the taxpayer costs of the Trump family’s travel expenses skyrocket out of control, a segment of the population has pinned their hopes on a potential silver lining. Personal finance geeks nationwide are hoping that the amount of credit card reward points the Trumps are racking up will be beneficial to all.
Personal finance hobbyist and billionaire groupie Ned Turtledove likes to think he can see a little of himself in the jet-setting President. “It’s a crap ton of money he’s spending, but he’s on vacation, right? When I’m on vacation, I’m buying stuff, treating myself real nice. I’m racking up bills, but I’m racking up points too you see. That’s like free money!”
Turtledove’s eyes glazed over as he recited a litany of double rewards points, 50,000 point bonuses, the names of dozens of elite airline clubs, and exclusive privileges. “There’s far more perks than one man can use even after you take his family into account. I’m sure by spreading the wealth to hungry young guys like myself, it will help make America great again.”
When confronted with explaining why Trump would want to give up his hard-won rewards points, Turtledove became crestfallen. “I don’t know … maybe there’s a tax break in it for him? I’m not entirely sure, but a guy like that is the personification of the American dream. He’ll come through. Unless he’s saving all his points up for a special, super, ultra-mega top secret perk that regular people don’t know about. If he cashes in for a gold-plated starship or something, I really can’t blame him.”