North Korea Offers to Abandon Nuclear Program if Trump Releases Tax Returns

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Kim Jong-un

PYONGYANG – Ever intensifying tensions between the United States and North Korea sharpened as supreme leader Kim Jong-un dropped a figurative bomb for a change. “Listen to this,” the dictator said, “we’ll abandon our nuclear program the moment Donald Trump releases his tax returns.”

Political analyst, Lisa Jones explained, “It’s not as though the fate of the world lies in the hands of a federal tax auditor, who Trump would probably just fire. Kim Jong-un is calling Trump’s bluff due to mass skepticism that Trump ever intends to release his tax returns to the public. It’s akin to a person promising to do something when Mar-a-Lago freezes over,” said Jones.

The two leaders have been compared to each other, and each understands the vulnerabilities of powerful men. Jones continued, “Trump wouldn’t want the world to see his self-tanner write-offs any more than Kim Jong-un would want to relent an ounce of Uranium. Trump will release those returns when Sean Spicer flies.”

Trump Administration released a statement that President Trump plans to meet with Kim Jong-un soon to discuss over yellow cake.