WASHINGTON D.C. – President Donald Trump, while looking for ways to cut costs and curb spending, is also keen on making new smart investments for the nation. In a budget proposal championed by the National Endowment for the Arts, Trump looks to increase federal funding for the Arts of the Deal by over 3000 percent. According to preliminary reports, the extra money will go towards Grants for research on how best to use your market leverage to squeeze your opponent into submission, the construction of a national museum documenting the history of Trump’s biggest, most fantastic real estate power plays, as well as an initiative to get a copy of The Art Of The Deal in the hands of every child in every school across America.
“This is fantastic news,” rejoiced Jane Chu, chairwomen of the NEA. “Children all over this great nation of ours look to the Arts of the Deal to find a means of self-expression that transcends race, culture, educational and economic barriers – anybody can stiff anybody, no matter what their position in our society! Clearly the Arts of the Deal are why so many children get up in the morning, and it’s just wonderful that the commander in chief sees that.”
Chu continued, “Some people feel that the Arts of the Deal are an unnecessary expenditure – more of a luxury than a necessity, typically politically one-sided, and one of the first things that should be cut from any budget. Well, those folks could not be more wrong – the Arts of the Deal are the building blocks of our culture. They teach children the value of independence, especially financial, seeing a project through to the end, or until the sucker signs on the dotted line, and of course the value of collaboration between you and the business you’re trying to screw over. I’m so glad our public officials have finally seen the light on this tremendously important issue. They’ve given little boys and girls hope and the permission to dream once again about the exciting world of business ventures.”