WASHINGTON D.C – Today Donald Trump is sending a powerful signal to young adults. Unfortunately, it will soon be the only signal they will get. Taking aim at the entitled millennial narrative, Donald Trump signed an executive order that will kick those over the age of 26 off their parent’s cell phone plans.
In response to criticism of his new order Trump said, “We will replace this with something great. Everyone will be covered and everyone will have the best coverage.”
Many millennials are not as optimistic however. New plans are sure to leave out those with pre-existing conditions such as game addicts. “I don’t know what I’ll do,” says 26-year-old Chloe Rodgers. “I’ll never get a plan. I shouldn’t have to choose between going broke and playing Jelly Splash.”
House Speaker Paul Ryan has begun to formulate a new plan to provide coverage to these young adults. We tried reaching out to Ryan’s office for comment, but it appears the receptionist is out of her Pay-As-You-Go minutes. It’s rumored that the Presidential Cabinet will be targeting those who share their parent’s Netflix account next.