Whole Foods Introduces Amazon Prime Rib

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Prime rib covered in parsley in an Amazon shipping box.

Since Amazon purchased Whole Foods for a cool $13.7 billion, the two companies have wasted no time integrating their brands and services.  Just announced, Whole Foods select meats are now available via Amazon Prime same-day service.

Some Wall Street analysts say Whole Foods overcharged Amazon for the acquisition, but will customers be willing to pay a premium for grass-fed Amazon Prime Rib?  According to Vinnie Sun, VP at Amazon Fresh, “We’ve crunched the numbers, and the appetite for meat delivery is voracious.”

A representative from the Whole Foods meat division, Carnie Voar, said, “We’re ready to beef up production to handle the emerging online meat market, not to be confused with the other online meat market, Tinder.  Sorry, if I’m being a ham.”

The first customer to purchase the Amazon Prime Rib fulfilled by Whole Foods described his unboxing experience.  “My shipment arrived just 3 hours after I ordered it, explained Jay Mitchel, “but I wasn’t home at the time.  The driver left the shipment on my back porch in the 90-degree sun.  It was almost fully cooked and smelled amazing by the time I opened it!  It was well-packed with lots of bubble, not that a little tenderizing-in-transit would have been such a bad thing!”

Customers of Whole Foods and Amazon can expect more integrations such as Alexa advice on cheese and wine pairings.